PRISON BREAK – A Real Life Story of an Artist

I remember that breathtaking moment as it happened yesterday, when I first stepped into Vatican Chapelle Sixtine and saw the Botticelli, Perugino, Signorelli, Rosselli, Michelangelo frescoes on the walls. It was a magical moment as if I entered somewhere from out of this World . I remember myself   standing in bewilderment, looking at the paintings and the statues without a blink of eye for almost a couple of hours with an admiration, exitement and   deep down a bit of jealousy as a young woman who wanted to study art as being a child always fond of making paintings and drawings but due to universe’s joke  graduated from “Business Administration” and started to work in an insurance company.

Many years while working in different sectors as professional management levels   with enthusiasm and pleasure, deep down I always remembered that moment’s exitement and heard the thin calling to make art but I couldn’t started except a couple of week trials. Because I continuesly was saying to myself “ who I am to paint as good as those painters and besides I don’t have an art study”.  I call all those years as my “prisonment” years passed in depression, lack of self confidence, expression  and creativity.

After so many years I listened the calling of my heart and started  painting systematicaly and attended to an oil painting workshop of a very skilled painter every Saturday. First two years I just copied, meanwhile read a lot of books and attended courses related with self development, chinese astrology, feng-shui,  photography, photoshop, dance, aikido. Later I realized such different interests that seemed to have nothing to do with each other represents precisely the versatility of a renaissance artist. One day in front of my new painting which  I was struggiling for a couple of days but going no where  asked with all of my heart, my own voice, my own expression. And asked the help of Leonarda Da Vinci. Yes you heard right. I asked the help of Leonardo Da Vinci.  After a couple of hours passed when I looked at what I painted as if a magical stick touched to my hand  it almost seem to be done by a different person. Tears burst from my eyes and thanked to god for letting me find my muse and let me feel his love and compassion and my real expression, my very personal inner voice.

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My creation process is now a kind of channelling. I usually start painting with an idea in my mind. But as the painting proceeds, it takes the development as if the painting has its own free will, and along the way  whispers its own desires to my ears or acts directly as it wishes. And I obey this. The outcome at the end is something completely different from the initial though I had in mind. But it is more beautiful than I imagined and it tells me a story. This process transforms, changes and heals something inside me. The main feeling of this story passes to the other viewers and heals something inside them.

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I want to spread this love and compassion and beauty and the healing to the World with my paintings.

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Let the love and compassion rule the world !

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